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by wildflower_daydreamer



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, jonsa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-13 20:56:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18948496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildflower_daydreamer/pseuds/wildflower_daydreamer
Summary: My version of Jon and Sansa's goodbye in King's Landing and its outcome.





	1. Can't Let Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the song Can't Let Go By Adele (lyrics at the end of the chapter)  
> I do not own these characters or lyrics.

Sansa stood with her siblings on the dock as they waited. She understood why this had to happen, why this was the best option, but she couldn’t bring herself to agree with it. Jon had protected the realm by killing the dragon queen, but he had to be punished for it because the Unsullied and Dothraki demanded it. All Sansa wanted to do in the meeting of the lords and ladies was stand and put Grey Worm in his place, tell him this isn’t his city, this isn’t his land, his queen was a murderer and now she is dead. Her composure kept her still. She knew continued bloodshed between the foreign armies and the northern forces Sansa brought with her to King’s Landing was a bad idea. But if they harmed Jon, she would have no regret. The newly instated King Bran came to the decision to have Jon rejoin the Night’s Watch. This placated Grey Worm enough and now the foreign armies would leave Westeros. Jon stayed alive and that’s what mattered most, even if he wouldn’t be able to return to Winterfell with her and retain his title as King of the North.

Finally, she could see Jon coming down the walkway. The sadness grew within her. This could be the last time she sees the man she truly loves. Sansa never thought she’d love a man after everything she had gone through. But Jon was different. After spending her childhood seeing Jon through the eyes of her mother, her thoughts of him changed while she was in captivity with the Lannisters and Boltons. She remembered how good he was, how humble, and there were many times she wished she could see him. The feelings she had for him since reuniting at Castle Black were even more different. Once she finally put together the fact that she indeed loved Jon, she didn’t know what to do with it, they were still supposedly siblings. And he was with Daenerys Targaryen, bringing her to Winterfell and leaving with her for King’s Landing. After finding out his true parentage, a little flicker of hope ignited within her. After the battle at Winterfell, Sansa went down to the crypt to assess the damage; she stopped in front of the stone likeness of her father and was reminded of the words Lord Eddard spoke to her. He wanted her to be with a man who was brave and gentle and strong. Jon was brave and gentle and strong. She hoped Jon would survive King’s Landing and come home to her. She hoped he would see the dragon queen for what she truly was, a ruthless conqueror. He did and he killed her. And now that flicker of hope was starting to be snuffed out as Jon was about to sail off to his awaiting sentence.

“I wish there had been another way. Can you forgive me?“ Sansa asked as Jon came to them. Her sadness had begun to crack her hard shell.

Jon looked at her, searching for the words to say. “If you can forgive me for not stopping all of this sooner. I should have heeded your words a long time ago.“ Jon paused and sighed with a small smile. “The North is free thanks to you.”

“But they lost their king.“

“Ned Stark’s daughter will speak for them. She’s the best they could ask for.“

Sansa reached out and hugged him. She could no longer say anything, the sadness of this goodbye was tearing her apart inside. After a moment, Jon’s hands flew to her back and he held her tight. She could feel the side of his face press into her neck. Her fingers deftly slid a very small bit of rolled up paper she had hidden in her sleeve into the collar of his cloak. He let go and pulled away, their eyes meeting for a moment before he moved onto Arya and Bran.

Sansa stood tall, her hands clasped behind her back, willing herself to remain strong as she watched the tearful goodbye between him and Arya and then Bran. Before he turned away, he gave her another long look before his eyes moved to Arya. And for one split second, Sansa swore his eyes shifted back to her own and it was as if he wanted to say something but thought better of it and turned toward the rowboat. As she watched him walk away, she felt as if her heart fell from her chest.

Visions of their hugs, their happier times together, and the many meaningful looks she thought they shared danced in her head. They brought a hint of a smile to her lips.  _This love isn’t over. There’s too much we haven’t said_ , she thought. Sansa couldn’t let go of him or that little flicker of hope within her.

As she and her siblings walked away from the dock, Sansa could only wish Jon would find that bit of paper when he took off his cloak. She could only hope he would notice it and read her perfectly neat writing. 

_I love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more of a break up song than anything, but there were a few lines that really stood out to me. Especially "This love, it ain't over yet. There's too much that I haven't said." As a huge Jonsa fan, I see that line in the way they said goodbye to one another in King's Landing. It's not over yet for me either.
> 
> Can't Let Go - Adele
> 
> When did it go wrong / I will never know / I have loved you all my life / How did it slow down / I go round and round / Thinking about it all the time
> 
> I gave you heaven on a platter, baby / I gave you everything you never gave me / I never lied and I never faked it / Only wanted for you to save me
> 
> This love, it ain't over yet / There's too much that I haven't said
> 
> Did you find the note that I wrote? / I hid it in the seam of your coat / It was hard to write with a lump in my throat / Do you even know that I can't let go?
> 
> Why were you so cold / Let the truth be told / Tell me was it all for the thrill? / What was I thinking / I gave you everything / But you still went for the kill / I gave you heaven on a platter, baby
> 
> I gave you everything you never gave me / I never lied and I never faked it / Only wanted for you to save me
> 
> Did you find the note that I wrote? / I hid it in the seam of your coat /It was hard to write with a lump in my throat / Do you even know that I can't let go?
> 
> Oh, sometimes I feel like I'm in the dark / Oh, I thought I died in your arms
> 
> Did you find the note that I wrote? / I hid it in the seam of your coat / It was hard to write, I had a lump in my throat / Do you even know that I can't let go? / Hope you know, I won't let go


	2. Light in the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the song Light in the Dark by Freddie Webb & Joe Farley (lyrics at the end of the chapter)  
> I do not own these characters or lyrics.

Sansa had been trying so hard to fall back asleep to continue the dream she was having before it slipped away from her. She dreamt of the memory of running into Jon’s arms at Castle Black, of him walking her up to his room to take care of her, of them talking throughout the night in front of his fire. Dreams of Jon were a common occurrence and this particular one was one of Sansa’s favorites, it was the memory of the start of her love for Jon, even though she wouldn’t realize it until much later. But as they sat in front of the fire, him smiling at her inability to drink the Watch’s ale, she could feel it fade away as she slowly woke. She kept her eyes screwed tight, hoping to fall right back asleep and resume the dream. But it wasn’t working and after some time, she gave up and let her eyes flicker open. It was still dark in her room, still too early to be awake. She huffed out a frustrated sigh and got up, fumbling for her dress in the dark. It was summer now and there was no need for the warmth of a fire in the hearth and no need for cloaks. Sansa slipped on her shoes and walked outside. It was a little brisk in that darkness, but the Stark blood in her liked it. She guessed the sun wouldn’t rise for a few more hours so she quietly made her way towards Winterfell’s godswood. 

It had been over three years since the North truly gained their independence and Sansa became queen. The North was thriving now. The winters weren’t so long, crops grew well, the glass gardens had been rebuilt for the winter months, along with Winterfell after the damage done to the castle, and new lords were chosen for the empty noble houses. Being queen had its challenges but it was going well. Despite that and the happiness she felt when seeing her people’s well-being, there was still something missing. She completely trusted her maester and her advisers, she had good relationships with the lords of the North and she was close to a few of her ladies, but she still felt lonely. Bran ruled the neighboring kingdoms and she received a few ravens from him over the years. Arya was still off on her adventures somewhere; Sansa had never heard from her but she knew Arya was alright. Brienne tried to insist on staying by Sansa’s side before she returned to the North, but Sansa asked her to stay and keep watch over her little brother in King’s Landing. She missed Brienne’s company but they sent ravens back and forth frequently. Tyrion would often update her on the goings on in the Six Kingdoms, it was always a pleasure to receive his letters. Even sweet Ser Davos would check in with her, his once messy penmanship steadily improving. And then there was Jon; he was the closest to Winterfell but he felt the farthest away. After he arrived at Castle Black, he sent word to Sansa that he was going beyond the wall to help Tormund and the remaining wildlings settle in. She hadn’t heard from him since.

Sansa stood beneath the old heart tree, the stars peeking down on her through the red leaves that rustled in the cool breeze. She always came to this spot when she missed her family, especially when she missed Jon. It was one place she knew she could be alone, her people knew what it meant to her and they did their best to not bother her while she was there. She watched as the breeze knocked a red leaf from its branch and into the pond, the water rippled in its wake. The breeze sounded like a sigh, like the sigh Jon would give her whenever she stood her ground so stubbornly. That sigh would always be followed by a small hint of his smile. Sansa thought back to the day they said goodbye in King’s Landing. They held each other tight and it took every strength within her to let him go. She had wanted to say so much to him, to confess all of her feelings for him, the love she had for him. But all she could do was write three words on a bit of paper and hide it in his cloak. 

Sansa knew the time was coming when suitable marriage offers would flood in to her. Her advisers and lords of the North were patient as they knew Sansa’s priority was to rebuild the North. Now that it was thriving, she had began to hear rumors from her ladies. The new lord of Bear Island has a son he would offer. The new lord of Last Hearth is an older man but unmarried. Alys Karstark has an older cousin who is interested. The thought of marrying another man she didn’t know placed dread in her heart. She had no doubt these men were far from the likes of Ramsey and Joffrey, but she couldn’t fathom being married again. Unless it was to Jon. But that was just her wishful thinking. 

She gazed out in the darkness, the light of the moon and stars dimly lit her surroundings. She pictured the dream she had a few nights ago of her standing at this pond’s edge, her hands gently caressing her pregnant belly and watching Jon and a little auburn haired girl, with curls that matched her father’s, splashing around as he taught her to swim. It brought a smile to her face and she closed her eyes to relish in the bliss the dream exuded.

Suddenly, the breeze carried along a whisper that sounded like Jon’s gruff voice saying her name. Sansa’s eyes shot open, that sound was not from the dream she had been reliving in her mind. And there, across the small pond, stood Jon. She didn’t know if this was just a dream in itself as she watched his dim figure let out a deep breath. 

“Sansa,“ he quietly said again.

“Jon?“

Jon rushed to her. She threw her arms around his neck as he gathered her in his. His strong arms held her almost too tightly but she didn’t care, he was no longer a dream.

“I haven’t heard from you in ages,“ Sansa said as he loosened his hold of her but still kept her in his arms.

“I stayed beyond the wall, we scouted many different areas so that the wildlings could spread out across the land.“

“I’ve missed you,“ Sansa said. “The North has missed you.“

“The North hasn’t missed me, it doesn’t need me. It has a much more competent leader these days,“ he said, letting her go and slightly bowing to her with a crooked smile. “But I’ve missed you as well. What are you doing out here in the dark?“

“I sometimes come here when I have trouble falling back asleep. What are you doing here?“

“When I came in the gates, the guard told me he had seen you head towards the godswood. I was going to wait til morning to call on you, but since you were already awake, I figured I’d come find you.“

“But what are you doing here in Winterfell, Jon?“ she smiled and asked as she sat down in her usual spot at the base of the weirwood. Jon sank down next to her.

“I received a raven from Bran. All it said was ‘Go home, Jon.’ So I left and came home.“ 

“You’re home for good?“ Sansa asked, her eyes wide and hopeful.

“I’m home for good, if you’ll let me. I will not be in your way, I don’t want any power or title. I just want to be Jon Snow. I just want to be home with you.“

“Oh Jon, I don’t care about any of that, of course you can come home!“

Jon drew is arm around her shoulders and she leaned against him, her head on his shoulder. They sat quietly for a time, small smiles on both of their faces.

“I thought I heard you calling me,“ Jon said quietly, breaking the silence. Sansa lifted her head to look up at him. “Tormund and I were in the Haunted Forest and a breeze came through, the branches of the trees moved around, the leaves were rustling and it sounded like you were whispering my name over and over like a song. I thought I was going mad. But then a raven with a small scroll on its leg landed on a branch near me. Bran found me out there. I read it and didn’t think twice about it, I told Tormund I was going back to Winterfell and left. Ghost stayed with me for some time but he went off to hunt after we got to Castle Black and I switched to a fresh horse. He knows where I’ll be.“

“You left as soon as you received that letter and came straight down?“

“Yes. The sound I heard in the breeze was the sweetest of sounds. The need to come here took over. And, even though Bran’s letter was not filled with information, I took it to mean there was no need to worry about repercussions from the Unsullied or Dothraki. I wanted to come back much sooner but I would never want to put the North in danger again. Or you.“ He kissed the top of her head affectionately. “And how is the Queen in the North fairing?”

“It’s been quite a process getting the North back up and running. However, we’ve been successful. I hear from Bran and our friends down south from time to time. Arya’s still a mystery. I have my advisers and my ladies, but it’s been fairly lonesome here.“

“No suitors yet? I’m sure that would kill some of the loneliness.”

“There’s been some whisperings I’ve heard. But I can’t imagine marrying any stranger.“ Sansa thought she could see a ghost of a relieved smile on Jon’s lips. They fell back into their comfortable silence, Sansa’s head once again resting on his shoulder with his arm around her. Sansa tilted her head up and watched as the stars in the night sky peeked through gaps in the leaves.

“I found your note while I was sailing away,“ Jon suddenly said, taking one of her hands in his. “At first I thought you meant it as you would towards Arya or Bran. But I was wrong, wasn’t I?“

“Like always,“ Sansa quietly teased and Jon squeezed her hand.

“But then I remembered the look on your face when I turned to look at you one more time. It told me your note was more than that. I walked to that boat with every inch of me fighting to turn back around and run to you. I told myself I couldn’t be selfish, I had to carry out my sentence to keep Westeros safe from retaliation. And then finding your note later, realizing that you felt the same way I did, I nearly jumped ship to swim all the way back to you.“ Jon let go of her hand and brought his up to her cheek. She raised her head from his shoulder to look at him. “Sansa, I wanted to tell you I love you, more than anything, while we were on that dock. Do you still love me?”

“I never stopped.“

His thumb caressed her cheek gently until he leaned in and his lips found hers. His lips were gentle and soft yet still urgent. Sansa’s hand went up and held the wrist of his hand on her cheek.

“I kept your note with me.“ He pulled it out and unrolled it. “Every time I looked at it, it gave me hope that I’d someday make it back to you.“ His dark grey eyes looked up and found her blue ones.

“When did you know?“

“That I loved you? I think a part of me knew since I first saw you at Castle Black. There was always something there that I couldn’t quite figure out. But I didn’t fully realize it until I looked down at you sitting beside me when our people named me king. You smiled up at me. For that moment, everything else in the Great Hall faded away and it was just you. And I decided that all I wanted was for you to look at me like that for the rest of my life. I’m sorry for everything that happened after that with Daenerys. I thought there was no hope for you and I with us being siblings. And we needed her forces against the Night King. I tried playing a political game but I’m obviously no good at it.”

“Yes, you should leave that to the masters,“ Sansa replied with a smile. “But there’s nothing to forgive. You thought you were doing what was best for all of us. What happened is the past now, it’s over. It’s time to start anew.” Her hand found it’s way behind his neck and she lightly pulled him closer as she leaned towards him until their lips met. She gave him the sweetest of kisses and then smiled at him.

“So when did you know?“ he asked.

She curled up into his side and his arm held her close. “As you said, something was always there since Castle Black. I realized what it was when you brought her here. The feeling I felt wasn’t that of a protective sister. It was much more, and all the pieces fell into place the more I thought about it. I knew I was being selfish telling you I love you when we said goodbye, but I had to say something before it was too late, even if nothing would come from it.”

“I’m glad you did. I love you, Sansa.“

“I love you, Jon.“ He held her close as she looked up at the stars.  _Like the stars love the night_ , she thought and finally closed her eyes. As she drifted to sleep, her thoughts wandered to her little brother and how thankful she was for him bringing Jon home. She wondered if Bran had seen her through the weirwood as she often spent time in the godswood, wondered if he could feel her missing Jon, wondered if he knew suitors would come calling soon so he sent Jon to her. Whatever it was Bran had seen or was thinking, she was grateful.

* * *

Sansa could feel the warmth of sunlight on her face as she woke. She slowly opened her eyes and realized she was fully laying down with her head in Jon’s lap. She looked up at his sleeping face and smiled. Rays of sunlight, filtered through the clouds and leaves, rained down on them and everything else around them seemed to disappear.

* * *

_Note: I'm thinking of the Winterfell godswood scene they used in the first season with Ned and Cat. The newer seasons don't seem to show the pond, unless it was frozen and covered in snow._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Light in the Dark by Freddie Webb & Joe Farley
> 
> There was a sound in the breeze / A song from the trees / That whispered through the night / Just an ordinary place / But I held you just in case / We traveled to the end of time
> 
> And I know that I love you / I hear you singing in my mind / And I know that I love you / Like the stars love the night
> 
> There was a light in the dark / A flame from the spark / That made the morning bright / When you woke next to me / You were all I could see / As we bathed in the morning light
> 
> And I know that I love you / I hear you singing in my mind / And I know that I love you / Like the stars love the night
> 
> There was a sight from the shore / A key for the door / That opened up the sky / And with light through the clouds / You’re the sweetest of sounds / And we’ll travel to the end of time
> 
> And I know that I love you / I hear you singing in my mind / And I know that I love you / Like the stars love the night
> 
> There was a sound in the breeze / A song from the trees / That whispered through the night / Just an ordinary place / But I held you just in case / We traveled to the end of time


	3. Everything Has Changed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my story! While I was able to picture it all so vividly in my head that it inspired me to write this, I found it very hard to put it into actual words for some reason. 
> 
> Inspired by the song Everything Has Changed by Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran (lyrics at the end of the chapter)  
> I do not own these characters or lyrics.

That morning, after Jon stirred awake, they walked out of the godswood into the bustling Winterfell courtyard. The people of the North were pleasantly surprised to see Jon there, walking arm in arm with their queen. There were smiles all around and respectful small bows of the head. Sansa showed him to an empty room near hers and left him to refresh himself after his long ride and long night out in the godswood. As she was about to turn and leave his room, he caught her hand and pulled her against him. His kiss was stronger now. He pulled away and gave her his crooked smile. 

She returned to her room and her ladies helped her get ready for the day before she sent one to summon her advisers. She was in a bit of a blissful daze as they dressed her. Waking up that morning, now knowing Jon loved her as she loved him, felt like another dream. But it wasn’t and now everything has changed for the better.

Sansa entered the Great Hall to find them assembled around the High Table. “My lords and ladies, I’m sure you’ve by now heard the news that Jon Snow has come home?” Sansa did her best to hide the happy smile that threatened her lips at the sound of her words. “Please rest assured that things are staying the same as to the leadership of the North. Jon wants not a title nor a position among us. He just wished to return home and King Bran of the Six Kingdoms has reassured him it is safe to do so.” Nods and small smiles greeted her in return. They carried on their meeting as normal, with the exception of Sansa’s thoughts sometimes wandering to Jon’s lips and kisses.

After her council meeting, she left the Great Hall to find Jon, freshly clean, catching up with some of the guards. She caught his eye and he excused himself from his conversation to join her side.

“My queen.“

Sansa smirked at him and nudged his shoulder with hers. 

“How did it go in there?“

“Well. You’ll have no problem here.“ 

She led him up to her solar and shut the door. Before another word left his mouth, her lips were on his. Her hand slid from the back of his neck and into his dark curls as she kissed him deeply. His hands grabbed the sides of her small waist. After some time, he gently pulled away, catching his breath as he looked at her hungry eyes. A small, aroused groan escaped him and his head went down to her neck, leaving a trail of kisses from her ear to her shoulder.

“You’re going to make this very difficult for me, aren’t you?“ he whispered in her ear before taking her lobe in his mouth.

“Don’t I always?“ Sansa teased, her eyes closed and her hand now gripping gently at his hair.

“I want to do this the right way, Sansa. I want to treat you as a queen should be treated.“ He pulled back and took her hands in his.

“That’s just silly, Jon. We already know each other, we know we love one another.“

“Yes, but I want to get to know you better, in this peaceful time we have. No enemies to discuss, no battle strategies to argue over, no potential rulers to worry about. It’s just us and I’ve wanted that for so long.”

She smiled at the thought of just having him with her to enjoy the revival of the North. He lifted her hands to his lips and kissed each one. “May I take you for a walk?”

* * *

A month had gone by and Sansa spent her free time with Jon, walking around Winterfell, riding out to winter town, talking to the people, and spending time in the godswood. Ghost had finally joined them and it was good to see the Stark sigil walking around the grounds again. When Sansa was busy with her queenly duties, Jon would take to the training yards and help the Master-at-Arms with instructing the young men with fighting techniques. It seemed to Sansa that her people took some sort of joy in seeing her and Jon together and she couldn’t be more grateful.

Fall was now in effect that night as she walked out to the godswood to meet Jon. He stood by the heart tree, leaves covering the ground and more were falling from the old tree and littering the pond with each breeze. Once she reached him, his hand gently rested on her cheek and he kissed her.

“Ever since I saw your eyes here in the godswood that night, I knew I was home. Bran told me to go home and I did. You are my home, Sansa.“ His thumb brushed the smooth light skin of her cheek.

“There had been something missing here in Winterfell. With all the success and peace we’ve seen here, it didn’t feel complete to me. Not until I opened my eyes and saw you standing across the pond.“

“I don’t ever want to let go.“

“You’ll be mine and I’ll be yours.“

“Does that mean you’ll marry me?“ he asked, his shy, crooked smile on his lips.

“Of course. Years have been wasted while we were apart, I’m tired of waiting.“

“Whatever my queen demands.” His smile became bigger and one of his eyebrows hitched up. Before she could respond, he pulled her into a kiss and she melted against him.

“You’ll be mine and I’ll be yours,“ Jon repeated in a soft whisper once he pulled away.

* * *

Sansa woke up. She could feel Jon’s arms around her naked body, holding her close to his. The vows they said as the snow fell lightly around them the previous night rang in her head and she smiled. Their wedding was small and without much of the grandeur royal weddings usually had. A simple winter ceremony in the godswood followed by a simple feast in the Great Hall. Jon refused title still, whether it be king, prince, or even lord. As she woke up that morning, he was just her husband and she his wife. Everything had changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything Has Changed - Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran
> 
> All I knew this morning when I woke / Is I know something now / Know something now I didn't before / And all I've seen since 18 hours ago / Is green eyes and freckles and your smile / In the back of my mind, making me feel like
> 
> I just wanna know you better / Know you better, know you better now / I just wanna know you better  
> Know you better, know you better now / I just wanna know you better / Know you better, know you better now / I just wanna know you, know you, know you
> 
> 'Cause all I know is we said, "Hello" / And your eyes look like coming home / All I know is a simple name / Everything has changed / All I know is you held the door / You'll be mine and I'll be yours / All I know since yesterday / Is everything has changed
> 
> And all my walls stood tall, painted blue / And I'll take 'em down, take 'em down / And open up the door for you / And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies / The beautiful kind, making up for lost time / Taking flight, making me feel right
> 
> I just wanna know you better / Know you better, know you better now / I just wanna know you better / Know you better, know you better now / I just wanna know you better / Know you better, know you better now / I just wanna know you, know you, know you
> 
> 'Cause all I know is we said, "Hello" / And your eyes look like coming home / All I know is a simple name / Everything has changed / All I know is you held the door / You'll be mine and I'll be yours / All I know since yesterday / Is everything has changed
> 
> Come back and tell me why / I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time / And meet me there tonight / And let me know that it's not all in my mind
> 
> I just wanna know you better / Know you better, know you better now / I just wanna know you, know you, know you
> 
> 'Cause all I know is we said, "Hello" / And your eyes look like coming home / All I know is a simple name / Everything has changed / All I know is you held the door / You'll be mine and I'll be yours / All I know since yesterday / Is everything has changed
> 
> All I know is we said, "Hello" / So dust off your highest hopes / All I know is pouring rain / And everything has changed / All I know is a new found grace / All my days, I'll know your face / All I know since yesterday / Is everything has changed


End file.
